'like, really pale. like, so pale.' revelatory.
i was also bestowed the title 'king of sandpaper'. presumably due to exhibition preparations and not my horrible nature.
among other things well known, i'm a failure. everything i try or attempt is a failure that never progresses any closer to being something else. i'm worthless. i'm never happy. i wish i was dead. i hate living so much. everything just becomes worse and worse. i know that the in times i feel wistful for i was miserable too. i didn't want to live then either but hoped that by this time things might be better. i really hope that things don't ever get so bad that now ever becomes a time i'll feel nostagia for.